Key takeaways

• Be able to identify ways that their parents have affected them (both + and -)
• Create goals that will help in whatever areas that they are looking to grow in
• Self Reflection
• Action steps and resources for therapy or self help
• Recognizing that growing past these relationships will me a journey that will have ups and downs (like this activity)

Defining Parents

The following answers are some of the answers given by the voluntary participants of a survey administered in Nov 2020. 

​A. “A parent is a caregiver of a child (biologically theirs or otherwise)”
B. “A person who supplies the emotional, mental, and physical need of a child/children.”
C. “A teacher and care giver. The bird’s nest before the birds learn to fly away.”
D. “A parent is a person that loves you unconditionally and is there to love you, provide for you, and guide you towards becoming the best version of yourself that you can be.”
E. “A parent is a person who raises you and guides you. Teaches you about life as you grow up.”
F. “A parent is an older figure in a child’s life that loves and supports them, provides guidance, and overall plays at least apart in raising them. A parent does not necessarily have to be your biological mother or father. For example, in Avatar: The Last Airbender, Uncle Iroh was a mentor figure to Zuko, who taught him so much and was always on his side, while still trying to guide him in the right direction. He was a father to Zuko more than his biological father, the abusive and emotionally unavailable Ozai, ever was. In my case, I was raised by my grandparents, so they are essentially my parents. Even though I am in contact with my mother, I typically think of my grandparents when someone mentions “parents”. 

The effect of parental relationships

There are many things that stem from the relationship with your parents. A lot of the negative issues we grow up to have sometimes relate back to events that happened when we were children or even much older as adults. Many of these specific issues are hard to recognize as having a connection to your parents, it is important to address (any) issues you have in therapy or in a way that best works for you. Here are direct quotes from the survey mentioned before answering the question, “How do your parental relationships effect you.”

A. “Multiple mental illnesses and mental blocks due to childhood trauma”
B. “I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Also, my therapist and psychologist did a test with me and have determined I have abandonment issues among a multitude of other issues that stim from my childhood”
C. “It has effected my perception of love, my level of trust, and my way dealing with conflict”
D. “My parents are the reason I have what I have and provide for my life everyday.”
E. “I think that it effects the way I carry myself”
F.  “they have a huge impact on my mental health, worldview, and personality”
G. “Positive: I feel like a fairly responsible adult with good morals & values because of what they taught me. Negative: My parents are not a model of a healthy marriage/romantic relationship so it makes it difficult to know what is healthy in my own relationship with my boyfriend. And I don’t want to end up like my parents.
H. “They make me stronger. I know I can go to them with any problems and they will be honest with me.”

How issues can appear in our lives

Unresolved/unhealed problems in our lives keep coming back as lessons/problems in a different ways until we address and heal from them. Very real examples are the following: engaging in relationships with emotionally unavailable people, self sabotage, panic attacks and more. 

Relationship examples: (7)
-The more attentive your parents, the more open you might be In relationships 
-The more inattentive your parents, the more attention-seeking you may be in relationships 

General types of trauma manifestation: (11)
-Depression
-Anxiety
-Chronic pain
-Flashbacks
-Nightmares
-Projecting onto others
-Unhealthy or strained relationships
-Drug or alcohol dependence or addiction 

What is community arts?

According to Tate.org community art is artistic activity that is based in a community setting, characterized by interaction or dialogue with the community and often involving a professional artist collaborating with people who may not otherwise engage in the arts.

I think community arts is about bringing the community together and using the arts as the medium. and I think it creates beautiful things and changes lives along the way. Coming together to make art or surrounding art brings a light in life that I hope only grows 
to shine brighter. 

Recommendations, Resources, and Advice

​-Self Care is for Everyone
-WRNS (We’re not really strangers)
-Black Mental Health Alliance - therapy refererals and mental health help
-Psychology Today - therapist search
-After the Rain by Alex Elle
-YNot Lot (Baltimore, MD)
-Try journaling
-Take breaks when you need them
-Repeating affirmations daily
-Be kind to yourself
-Cry it out
-Talk to someone
-Make some art
-Remember your friends are not your therapists 
-Know you are loved
-Yoga

Resources

​1. https://www.tate.org.uk/art/art-terms/c/community-art
2. https://baltimoreclayworks.org/community-arts/
3. https://www.baltimoreculture.org/
4. https://www.promotionandarts.org/about-us
5. https://www.promotionandarts.org/grants
6. https://athealth.com/topics/different-types-of-parent-child-relationships-3/
7. https://www.bustle.com/articles/200160-11-weird-ways-your-relationship-with-your-parents-can-affect-your-romantic-life
8. https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/family-dynamics-the-roles-we-play#accept-cookies/
9. https://apnews.com/article/c7854ea6892d40ffbdd53114fd6ecd5e
10. https://news.stanford.edu/2018/06/26/psychological-impact-early-life-stress-parental-separation/
11. https://alorecovery.com/somatic-experiencing-therapy-for-trauma-healing/#:~:text=%20Trauma%20can%20manifest%20itself%20in%20a%20number,Drug%20or%20alcohol%20dependence%20or%20addiction%20More%20